Ready State of Absolute Nothingness

I have been visualising these hollow shades of gray for a long time now. The time has come for my little girl to go back after her short visit to India... which is after almost 7 ½ years?... and I am unsure of her next return. My uncle - whilst in his last leg of his tenure in the Merchant Navy - was rushed from Ivory Coast to Mumbai last week only to be diagnosed as being in the advanced stages of colon and intestine cancer. My best friend has gone astray with her state of uncertainties. These mélange of feelings currently gushing through my head has left me feeling highly volatile and in a state of total numbness. I feel that I am being plunged into this absolute state of Nothingness…