Smoked Thought!

Ashes to Ashes
Dust to Dust.

If Alcohol doesn't get you...
Nicotine must!

Experience Love

"It is better to have loved and lost, than not been loved at all"

Chinese Curse

I just happened to Stumble on these wonderful Chinese curses when i was having few beers with an old friend and mentor of mine on Christmas eve.... which sounded like a bless!"May you live in interesting times" and” May you find what you looking for"- did you know that these are Chinese curses???- Once you find them... you are done and dusted!! Life is over!I think you got to keep the flickering quest always burning to live life to the lees....

Back!

After a couple of months of a tumultuous ride on the real estate (and recruitments!) roller coaster, I am back. Work has, quite unexpectedly, taken on new dimensions. With the ever increasing boom in the market (thanks to His Highness Information Technology), there never seems to be a dearth of people seeking to invest. Which is good... very good... but not so, if you are suddenly surrounded by way too many real estate sharks lurking about in the same murky waters waiting to dig their jaws into the same prey. I have now fully grown to understand... it's not always that the early bird manages to get it's worm. In any which case, I have still somehow managed to take a while out out to 'smell the roses' and thank God for some of the good things that have come my way - both professionally and personally. After a long time, I have started to see the definition I thought had eluded me all along. In reality, it seems to me that it was I who had eluded it .

Ready State of Absolute Nothingness

I have been visualising these hollow shades of gray for a long time now. The time has come for my little girl to go back after her short visit to India... which is after almost 7 ½ years?... and I am unsure of her next return. My uncle - whilst in his last leg of his tenure in the Merchant Navy - was rushed from Ivory Coast to Mumbai last week only to be diagnosed as being in the advanced stages of colon and intestine cancer. My best friend has gone astray with her state of uncertainties. These mélange of feelings currently gushing through my head has left me feeling highly volatile and in a state of total numbness. I feel that I am being plunged into this absolute state of Nothingness…

Zombie

It’s the war raging in my head again.
And the sound of gun barrels being spun…
Bombs being dropped...
And the sweet lullaby of screams fill my ears,
And pain, indescribable… wrenching…
Fills my soul.

Scratched

You look around with your weary eyes and there you spot that one person who was neglected while you went about gratifying your own selfish desires… he stands there withered and scratched, after being a saddle to all your horses from the past races. Why? Why do we do this? And take everything which was truly meant for you for granted? Why can’t we derive definitions at different phases of our life, compartmentalize, prioritize and give it a shape of our choice with a purpose? Why can’t we live our lives as simple people with basic elements in place and not let ourselves get influenced by others perceptions?

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It's amazing to watch how fake our society is turning out to be. Truly speaking. Making friends these days… no, let me rephrase that... finding GOOD friends who are non-judgmental and non-opinionated is as good as finding a needle in the hay stack. Or maybe, finding a needle in the haystack is easier. Gone are the days when good friendship was all about good understanding. Gone are the days when good friendships were all about good conversations. Real conversations rather. In this whole phenomenon of socializing and meeting new people, impression and image building has taken over values such as true understanding and acceptance. Real values take real effort to be put into practice. And anything that comes with effort is looked upon as too much of an inconvenience these days. We don’t have the patience anymore to do something as simple as sit down and analyze where things go wrong… or have gone wrong, and take appropriate measures to safe-guard it from getting destroyed any further. Instead, we find it more convenient to get bitter and bitch about things gone sour. Is this how shallow our associations with people are turning out to be? … As educated and intellectually inclined as we are turning out to be in numbers… more pea-brained we seem to be growing in our approach towards human relationships and other such areas of our lives. I have spent a large part of my time being part of social gatherings. And beyond a point that transcends all the fun and laughter, it’s all just so fake and shitty. I mean beat this! A man and a woman decide they would like to date each other and they spend a substantial amount of time with one another… and suddenly their lives come under close scrutiny… and their so-called social circle of ‘friends’ decide they are crappy as a couple. And the man and the woman – who happen to give equally more importance to their friends - find themselves being torn apart by their respective social circles. And they decide to call it off. THIS is what human relationships are all about today. We can’t lead our lives in peace without being judged for it. Everything… from the clothes you wear, to the food you eat, to … to even the man/woman you date comes under the influence of how the ‘others’ feel and how comfortable we feel about how ‘others’ feel. We start to fear speaking our minds out and we start to fear being ourselves. And we find ourselves more like arm candies and pet puppets, who are expected to dance to pre-set tunes... expectations in other words. And we start to lose ourselves. And one fine day, we find ourselves suddenly waking up from all those fantasies we had… and reality hits us like a jolt. And we end up feeling cold, miserable and lonely again... the party is over and the exhaustion sets in.